Piddix 2.0

Summer 2017 Road Trip--Oregon to Minnesota and back again--Painted Hills, Spencer Opal Mine, Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore, Laura Ingalls Wilder homestead, Glacier & Silverwood Water Park.

To all of the awesome, amazing people who have supported piddix (and thus me) over the past 11 years, a huge hello and lots of love heading your way from the other side of brain surgery. I’ve tried a dozen times to write about my experiences over the last two years, and I just can’t. At least not yet. Suffice it to say I’m here. I’m 98% recovered, and, as long as I get a good solid 8 hours of sleep, I’m feeling great. We even took a huge, 4000-mile camping trip this summer. It was time spent with my boys I will always treasure.

With all I’ve learned about myself and my business during this process, I’m planning to switch up piddix quite a bit in the next few months. I will be phasing out my printed collage sheets from www.piddix.com, though you’ll still be able to find them online in places such as Annie Howes and Fire Mountain Gems. My focus is moving more toward art licensing, including several new home decor and wall art lines with some amazing companies that I’ll share at some point. Digital collage sheets will stay on etsy for a while, but I’m not sure yet how much time I’ll be putting into launching new images. Etsy is just too unpredictable as a company right now, so I’m waiting to see how that all goes.

In the mean time, please know you are all in my thoughts. The love and support I’ve received from so many of you for so long is incredibly appreciated. Absolutely no way I would be where I am without it.

All the best,
Corinna

Fearing Change (Even Awesome Change)

My youngest started preschool this month, which means for the first time in five years I won’t have to work until 3 am. I was so excited! But the transition has been much harder than I expected (for me). In fact, I'm writing this at 2 am when I really should be in bed.

I’ve been procrastinating during the day, filling my time with busy work instead of what really needs to get done. My sock drawer is all cleaned out (thanks to this book), I started two new websites (on Rocks and Architecture), yet the most important piddix work I need to do I ignore.

It’s frightening to admit, but I’m scared. Scared that now that all the excuses are gone, I won’t be able to make piddix work full-time as I once did.

I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but I’ve come up with three theories:

1. I need time to transition. It’s been almost a month, and I’m still on my swing-shift schedule. Perhaps like a cure for jet lag I need to force my body to readjust to a more normal routine.

2. I need time for myself. After years of only focusing on two things (piddix and family), I need time to have fun. Since my version of fun is taking on new projects, I’m filling up what I thought would be extra time with new ideas I’ve been sitting on forever.

3. I’m self-sabotaging. This is the scariest idea because it seems ridiculous, yet is probably true. I finally have exactly what I want. Two boys in amazing schools. Time for family and for myself....so what's the problem? Here goes: I’m afraid that if everything is too perfect, something horrible will go wrong. In my mind, life is meant to be a balance of good and bad. And if there’s too much good… I’m just waiting for the other shoe to fall. I’m afraid of this perfect life that’s just outside my grasp. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it. So I delay. I procrastinate. I won’t take those last few steps I need to get there. Perhaps I feel I don’t deserve it.

I have no idea how to overcome this resistance to change I’m experiencing. And feel ridiculous for having such a silly first-world problem. Which is why I suppose I'm writing this down. Getting my fears and doubts out of my head to make them dissipate, and sharing my goals and dreams to help make them real.

These larger questions feel like wispy smoke I cannot grasp, so I suppose I'll start with something concrete that I can control: bedtime. My plan for October is to go to bed every night at midnight, and hope that getting 6-7 hours of sleep a night for a month it will bring some clarity for next steps. Well, that and bribes. If I get off my bottom and send out the piddix newsletter today, I get to open and build this with my boys after school. Sometimes it’s the little things.

On Posing Nude, and Thoughts Half-Formed

Poster from Emma Bergqvist

Yes, I've posed nude for an artist before. Stick with me please; this is going somewhere. Last summer, while driving back from the Gorge I started thinking about another time I'd been there, seven years previous when I was part of a group of pregnant women posing for photographer Justine Kurkland's series of Utopian women communities.

Wondering what Justine was up to, I googled her and came across this profoundly sad article online. Well, to me it was profoundly sad, and brought up a concept I'd never thought of before: the pull specifically between art and motherhood. With two children, ages one and six at the time, I was struggling with this acutely, heightened by the ever-present gloom that comes from sleep deprivation.

So while Brian was driving back into Portland, I scribbled down my feelings in the form of a blog post, them promptly set it aside in my stacks of paper.

On my return trip from Camp Mighty I did the same thing: wrote down all my thoughts in article form and then promptly forgot them completely. In fact, as I scroll through my iPhone notes from the past year I come across all kinds of half-formed and complete articles that never saw the light of day:

• How my issues around money and success tie into relationships in 6th grade
• The "soul mission" of my business (to help people achieve their dreams)
• Tips to increase creative thinking and problem solving (aka, how to overcome fears and bring your crazy ideas to life)
• How to submit your work and not take rejection personally
• On finding inspiration (especially during Portland's rare, beautiful summers)
• My Ted Talk
• CHA vs Disneyland
• Oh, and a few random grocery lists and apparently notes to myself that just say things like "Joy. Apples. Diapers."

Image from the my Camp Mighty Talk, taken by Tia Lambert.

My secret hoarding of these stories can be attributed to two things:

First, there's of course always a lack of hours in the day. I have time to scribble thoughts on my phone or random scraps of paper while hanging out at the playground. But time to sit at my computer while fully awake is often a luxury.

But more importantly, and I think more happily, these articles never came to full fruition because they didn't need to. By the time I finished writing up my struggles with balancing creativity and motherhood, I had made it past that particularly stressful time and was feeling much more in sync. My experience presenting my Ted Talk on Getting 100 Rejections in 100 Days (which I gave at Camp Mighty) was so completely amazing and wonderful, I haven't yet felt the need to do anything more with the PowerPoint presentation still sitting on Brian's laptop.

All of which I think is a good sign. Anyone who's been a parent, or run a business, or probably just about anything else involved with factors both inside and outside of your control, knows that there's often lots of ups and downs. During the past year I've had plenty of both, but the down moments are being overridden by moments of joy more quickly, or perhaps that's just the Six-Full-Uninterrupted Hours-of-Sleep I got the other night talking. I can see the light at the end of the proverbial sleep deprivation tunnel, and have lovely dreams of more time to create and happy trips to Disneyland to come.

The Great Divide

One of the more difficult tasks put forth in my small business class was to create a divide between my business and personal life. I've failed miserably in most areas. My office has moved backed to the middle of my home. I have no set business hours. I drag Declan on all my business errands (not that he minds trips to craft stores too much, but still).

I have learned one trick that works amazingly, though. I set up a separate business phone number. It's through googlevoice. It's free (which is awesome). I can forward it to my cell phone, set up a separate voicemail, create different responses during different hours. It even emails me a text translation of any messages I receive. And I feel way more professional being able to hand out a business phone number when needed. Now I'm sounding like a commercial. But hey, it does rock, so I thought I'd pass along the tip. Here's the details.

Housewife, Day #1 (cramming it all in)

It's been over a year since I embarked on my full-time crafting journey. Today feels like the first day of a whole new trek. Brian was off early to the first day of his new job, which means it was my turn to get Declan ready and pack up the car to head to Grandma & Grandpa's for the day. With Declan now off being happily spoiled, I'm back home looking at the first day of my new "job," too.

As a creative person, change often is exciting to me. Since nothing is yet set, I can imagine all kinds of amazing possibilities. I have time, a great support network, and have relinquished the burden to Brian for household financial support. At the same time, though, I'm generally and genetically disinclined to do dishes or laundry. I don't cook often, and when I do it's not good. But project management? Sure. Or house painting or organizing? Love it.

So what's next? Do I fall back into the trap of working 70 hours a week on piddix? Will I become a trapped housewife from the Feminine Mystique?

If today's to-do list is any indication, it seems I'm once again trying to fit everything in:

1. Call contractor to figure out why lead abatement on the wood floor isn't done yet (which is why our entire lives are currently crammed into the only room with carpet; see above photo)

2. Pick up new book I ordered from 1838 to scan. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

3. Get back to agent with designs for possible inclusion in Trader Joe's stores. Also sign and return contract for new images for Target.

4. Everything piddix (26 new designs needed for wholesale order due in 8 days). Oh, and send all the etsy orders, too.

5. Submit application for winter craft shows (because I haven't nothing better to do with all my free time, yikes).

And then of course the things I want to do in theory, but probably won't happen in actuality:

6. Work out.

7. Make dinner.

My guess is I'll fall into old habits. Work on piddix too hard (which I love). Eat out instead of cook. Keep getting dressed up to work out but never actually making it out the door. But for the moment, the excitement over "what if's" is still there. The fun feeling of New Year's resolutions and a new routine are with me today.

Sometimes, You Get What You Need

When I visualize "balance" I picture a skinny, frail tightrope walker high up in the air, carefully trying to balancing all aspects of a life on the ends of a too-long balance poles. "Stability," on the other hand, seems much more stout to me. Assuredly (and perhaps boringly) plodding along on firm ground.

For so long I've been seeking balance in my life. How can I balance sleep, family, work, fun, friends, travel, and paying the mortgage? How can I cram too much into an already full life? But as it turns out, stability is the one that found me--and I couldn't be happier. As of August 30th, Brian will be turning in his freelance-writer gig for a pretty amazing (but still secret) full-time job.

This most definitely means change in our lives. We're trading the month-long house swaps and having both of us at home with Declan full-time for paid health insurance and a regular paycheck. I'll still be working at piddix full-time, but will also take on more childcare and house responsibilities. Two or three years ago I'm not sure I would have been ready for this. The freedom we've enjoyed in both travel and home-life have been great. But with Declan heading off to preschool in the Fall the timing feels fortuitous. I'm quite ready to take a deep breath on firm ground.

So while I wasn't seeking stability, happily, it found me.

A Door of My Own

I have a door in the office where we're staying in Minnesota. A real door. A door without glass, that closes and everything. I had no idea what a big difference that would make.

See, back in Portland I have a nice home office....with two huge divided light French doors. It's a bit like a fish bowl, surrounded by glass and right in the middle of everything, which makes it relatively impossible to work when a certain 3-year-old puts his little nose up to the glass and says "Mommmmmmy, play soccer with me." Or a certain 30-something-year-old says "can you do this little thing real quick." It means I work in fits and starts. Never quite getting an undivided chunk of time. In some ways it is wonderful. I definitely don't miss anything going on in the house. But it is definitely not an ideal situation for actually getting work done.

In Minnesota (where we're staying for a month) I've set up my temporary office on the second floor in an area that is small, bright, and best of all...has a door that closes. In Portland it is a huge struggle to balance home/home life and business/home life. I feel like I'm always working but also never working efficiently. That's part of the trick with having a home office, right? And I know it can be frustrating for Brian, too, since I'm always so anxious to shoo them out of the house so I can get things done.

I'm pretty thrilled that something as small as a door that closes might be representative of the door between work and home. Creating that division more strongly may allow me to not only work more efficiently, but also to leave work at the "office" at the end of the day. Who knows, maybe I'll even get my evenings back again? What a wonderful next goal to work toward.

Looking for Balance (in all the wrong places)

One of my lovely piddix customers wrote me today asking for advice on finding work/life balance. If only I had a good answer! While I am pretty good at "crying uncle" once I've reached a breaking point, achieving equilibrium before I reach it is a skill I am seriously lacking.

Since my last newsletter went out more than six weeks ago, I've worked mostly 16-hour days, staying up until 3 am most nights on the following:

1. A 70-item wholesale catalog of printed collage sheets. By Thanksgiving you'll be able to find printed piddix sheets in person if you live near Minneapolis and online for everyone else.

2. A free, 12-page pdf titled "Seven Tips for Etsy Success," published this morning on indiefixx.

3. A new, soon-to-be-released collaboration with Annie Howes.

4. Negotiation of several commercial contracts, including one that should land piddix images in Barnes & Nobles nationwide by late 2010.

And so much more...

Lucky for my sleep-deprived-brain, I dropped the collage sheet files off at the printers this week, so things are getting back to normal. But I still fear falling right back into the late-night routine the next time another large project comes up. Anyone out there have any tips to share that have worked for you? I'd love to hear them.

Full Time Crafting Six Months In

Two months before I "Quit My Day Job" in March 2009, piddix had its biggest sales month ever. At the time I had lunch with an etsy friend and told her my goal was to double those sales within a year, and I had enough savings to act as a safety net during the growth period. She commented that it might take the full year to reach my goal; but I inwardly scoffed that it would take that long. After-all, my sales had been climbing steadily for a while, I had taken classes, I was prepared (or so I thought)...

Then "Wham!;" I ran into four months of fairly low sales, which were both scary and depressing. To top if off, my husband was laid off from his job at the beginning of June. It was looking bleak for piddix. I immediately went to my old non-profit organization, one that I sill love and admire, to see if they had any work for me. See, they still had my old position open, and I always had it in the back of my mind that until they hired someone new, I could always go back, with hat in hand, and help out there. Fortunately for both of us (and you'll see why in a minute), they were in the middle of a hiring freeze. They could offer some contract work, which would help me pay the bills for a bit, but nothing permanent.

Rather than be sad or stressed at the news, I found myself rather relieved. At that moment I realized that I truly loved working on piddix. I loved working from home. I loved being able to scan books and play trains with Declan at the same time. Every aspect of the business--from marketing to designing new products--still fascinated me. While I had left a very nice job with wonderful people and benefits, rather than the traditional mind-numbing cubicle work that is easier to leave, I was still having more fun working for myself, on my own terms.

So I intensified my efforts with piddix (thanks Mom and Dad for the extra babysitting) and thankfully, this past August was a new record for piddix sales, and September looks good so far.

I've learned a million things in the process. The two that stand out at the moment are:

1. Know your sales trends. If I had paid much closer attention to my sales trends over the past several years, and done some additional research, I would have noticed that the February through May are traditionally a very slow time for selling supplies, since everyone has already finished up their holiday craft fairs but hasn't yet started on their summer activities. That knowledge would not only have factored into my plans of when to leave my "day" job, but also cushioned my ego, too. Now that I'm tracking the ups and downs better, I can be financially and emotionally prepared for both.

2. Try Everything. A friend of mine calls this the "shotgun approach," since I'm basically shooting a bunch of ideas out and hoping one of them will hit its mark. Or, as a member of my board of directors puts it, I'm wandering around in the dark hoping for brief moments of illumination. I may at some point write an entire post on the 243 things that I have tried in the last seven months--from the hand-letterpressed thank you cards I made to send with my packages (which are still sitting unused on my shelf), to the four different collaborations I've tried (two great, one so-so, and one still in the works). Needless to say I wouldn't suggest this for anyone else. A more surgical, practiced approach would save a bunch of time. But it actually worked well for me. Of the 243 ideas that I tried, about five worked very, very well and are responsible for my current sales record. I would never have found them without the other 238.

So, as always, wish me luck. It's been very nice to have a bit of an emotional and financial boost this past month or so. And looking forward I'm hoping that the "ups" outnumber the "downs."

Full-Time Crafting Six Weeks In

I had a friend ask me this weekend how running my own business full-time is going, and honestly I have to reply that it's somewhat mixed. It's been about six weeks since I left my non-profit job to work on piddix full-time. I of course had dreams of 1) making enough money to support my family, 2) getting to spend more time with friends, 3) working out more and eating healthy, and 4) having a better work-life balance. So what's the reality? I feel like me two-year-old when he says "It's haaaaaaard."

Around the time I left my "day job," piddix's sales dropped dramatically. We questioned whether to still go ahead with piddix full-time and decided to take the leap, betting that the increased hours I'd be able to put into it would make up the difference and we could live on savings while things grew. February and March are typically my slowest months and this was especially true this year. Savings were getting eaten up more quickly than planned and it's definitely on the scary side.

Since then, I've come out with several new lines of collage sheets, different items in the shop, and a couple of marketing campaigns. Things are sloooowly coming around. Whether it will happen before savings run out is still to be determined. To make up for the lower income we've also cut back on a ton of expenses and this will be hard, especially, on my family as things like new shoes or a dentist appointment become luxuries. I feel very supported but also don't want to be selfish in my pursuits of new challenges.

On the other hand, I've actually made it to bed before midnight a couple of times--which was unheard of while I was working two jobs. I feel significantly more rested and have discovered that I'm a better mom and a generally more happy person when I get 8 hours of sleep. I've been seeing friends and neighbors more. And the funny thing is that now that we have less income it actually makes me rely on other people more (in a good way). Since we can't afford to hire any extra help, I'll be trading babysitting, nights-out, dog sitting, extra produce, and hand-me-downs with friends and neighbors.

Other highs and lows come and go. I miss my former co-workers much more than I expected and working from home can sometimes be challenging. At the same time I'm so excited about the new work I'm doing, a new book coming out with piddix images in it, the design classes I'm taking, a potential article in USA Today, my new twitter account, and on and on. It feels great to be able to focus on one kind of work instead of spreading myself too thin.

What's next? That's the big question. At this point my main goal is to stabilize income and expenses so that we're not hemorrhaging savings. If that can be accomplished within the next couple of weeks then I see great potential for future expansion. As always, wish me luck.